Just got off the phone with a church. The woman was rude at best. I explained who I was and that I was looking for support from all my local churches. I told her that I was serving Huron County for now and she said well we're in Erie. Like, wait a minute. You don't want to support getting the Word of God to people outside of your own community? She then instructed me to send an email but never gave me her name or an email address. The anger and hurt took my breath away. I cried, a lot. Yesterday, I met with two amazing women who are doing the tough work of feeding their community and they, like I, have found little to no support from the church. I've reached out to hundreds, possibly over a thousand churches, since beginning this mission with about a 1% response. At first, I was just asking for church sign pictures. No commitment, no money, just a picture of their church sign. Crickets. Then I reached out to one local, non-profit not associated with the church and within one hour they had replied back to me and within one week they had met with me, encouraged me and offered support. When I began this journey I was hoping to prove the opposite. I was hoping to prove that the church would come together to support someone who was trying to bring the Good News to her community. That the church cared for more than just donors and putting butts in pews. I fear that the opposite is being proved and for one brief second, it even made me doubt God. This is my darn blog and I'm keeping it real. I doubted because I wondered how people who claim to know God and serve God could turn their backs on those in need and those trying to serve the needy. I reminded God of what He did to the Israelites in the Old Testament when they denied Him and lived outside His will. I said "I'm ready for the wrath of God. Maybe that's what we need." So, today in the prayer chair, I asked Jesus: Would you do it again? When you look down and see the mess we've made of Your church, would you do it again. Would You go through the betrayal, the denials, the pain, the suffering, the mocking, the torture and the agonizing death for this church? As I sat there in the chair, with that question on my lips He showed me a vision of myself. Busting my butt to try to get His faith, His hope, His love to my community. He showed me all I've done so far and all I hope to do. With that vision He reminded me that I am the church and He would do it again for me. Jesus, You are worth every single one of my tears. Every single phone call I make that ends in frustration or hurt. You are worth it all and just as you'd do it again for me, I will keep doing it for you.